This morning, I realised that what I require is anti-anxiety medication, as opposed to one that controls the symptoms of depression. I do get depressed from time to time, but I always recover from it. It is the anxiety that is the main problem. Puritan’s Pride has a product called Anxiety Relief for $12.49. I intend to order it when I get paid this Friday. Hopefully, it can help.
I make my return to work tomorrow. I had a wonderful time off. But I am not sure if I am ready to face the volatility of the job. At least I will not have to worry about any more tension headaches. I needed the time off. Overall, I am feeling much better. The “warden walk” that the secondary supervisor does every morning is a trigger to one of my anxieties. My therapist suggests that I associate with something positive. It would be easier not to be in the office when it happens.
Warm weather is also helping my mood. Whilst I do not suffer from SAD, I no longer love cold weather. I can remember from many moons ago that whenever I was in a grassy meadow in a park on a sunny day, I had an urge to sit cross legged in the grass and be one with nature. That urge is still with me. I get to do it during my yoga sessions inside my apartment, but I feel more comfortable in nature. I need to purchase a parking permit from the town before I can start visiting the town parks. Usually, I do my meditating at the marina, and, of course, there are no grassy meadows there, and I cannot sit cross legged because the marina is also the ferry terminal, which will be getting busier now that warm weather is here. I have to use ear plugs when I meditate because there is constant boat traffic, along with cars, and people walking by.
Writing is such a wonderful therapy for me. It gives me a purpose, as opposed to being jealous of my sister because she has a project of her own going on, whilst all I was doing was worrying about things I cannot control, and comparing myself to her. If you are an introvert like me, I suggest you keep a journal. It is an excellent way to keep you busy, and to express whatever is on your mind. I remember when I was 12, I was so interested in mom’s electric typewriter. I would barely touch the keys, and it would type a letter. I played around with it, and I learned basic things about it. I wish it was still around. I wanted to write a book, but I did not know to do so. Back in college, I took a typing class, and the final exam was to be the history of the typewriter.
If you are interested in writing a book, follow your dreams. Do not be afraid to do what it right for you. Starting this blog was difficult, but I am feeling better with every entry I make. Always remember: The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.