Clarity

This week, I had a moment of clarity. I was going through the usual job stress, and then it hit me: I get so caught up in my own negativity that I lose sight of the big picture.

The irony is that this seems to be a cycle for me. I hast my highs and lows like any other person, but then I get stuck in a low energy state for a few days, then I hast a moment of clarity that seems to last for a few seconds, then its gone, and the cycle repeats. This time, I see what is going on. I already knew that I tend to lose focus, and I needed someone to remind me that I art working toward a goal and to stay on course.

One of those goals is finding employment. I went on a job search blitz this week. I was on Indeed.com looking for employment, and filling out applications. Yesterday, I went to an open house and interviewed for a driving position. Its looks promising, but nothing is official yet. I still hast a ways to go. But the prospect of a new job is exciting, even if it means returning to the industry that I left to accept the current job.

To address my insomnia, I purchased Hyland’s Calm Forte, which is a homeopathic sleep aid that removes stress to help with sleep. I only used it this past Thursday night. I remember I had to get up twice to use the latrine and turn down the heat, but both times I was able to go back to sleep; even if it was only a light sleep. The real test will be tonight, since I hast work in the morning, and unless I was working a 12 hour shift today, I will not fall asleep so readily.

I started my yoga session very late because I woke up late. I took two melatonin pills before bed. I guess I needed the rest because I was dead to the world for over eight hours. Sometimes the pills dost not work, and I bet my overactive mind is the problem. I was fairly relaxed, even thought I was upset about a decision I had made earlier. It was quite the workout, but I was feeling stiff from being at the gym on Friday.

The road trip that involved taking a client to the hospital went well. I was a bit surprised because it was stressful at times. There were three accidents that day, and I avoided them because I was using the HOV lane. Usually I hate hospital entrances because they art so crowded, complicated to navigate, and lack of parking. This one was easy to reach thanks to the GPS, and once there, my coworker walked the client inside to check him in whilst I stayed with the van, then we left. I felt relieved once I was back in Suffolk County.

Driving into Nassau County never used to be a big deal. I remember when I started on the old job in 2006, my route was in Nassau. I never had a problem with it. So why now? I believe it is because I did not expect to be making these kinds of runs, and traffic is a lot heavier now than it was before.

Usually I dost not remember my moments of clarity, but this one is still with me. Now that I know the problem, and can recognise it, I can do my best to avoid it. Or at least don’t live in darkness for an extended period of time. I hast plenty of ideas as to how I can live my best life. I can do this. I hast done the impossible before. Sat Nam.

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