This time, it was a follow up for the echocardiogram since I missed a previous appointment. The doctor is a rather jovial and friendly sort. Out of an abundance of caution, he increased the water pill dosage to 100mgs which means now I’ll be taking two pills. I felt fine in the days leading to the appointment, but I remember when I was in the latrine, I felt light headed for a split second. So now I feel so afraid. I did not want to have heart problems in my old age. That’s why I started exercising. Now here we are. I did not take the news well. I was really upset. I started having thoughts about my mortality. Only a few decades left in this body until time’s up. I did take the two pills this morning, and no dire emergencies happened. Thank the gods for that.
Listen, if you suffer from high blood pressure, but are not taking any medication, get checked out, okay? Don’t be like me who stopped taking it at one point and almost died. I wasn’t taking the water pill for months because I didn’t want to have a dire emergency whilst driving, and now I might have ruined my heart. Now I live in fear of having a heart attack or passing out. I used to run on the treadmill. Now I’m afraid to do that any more. But I still exercise regardless. Sometimes I’m afraid to go to sleep because what if I don’t wake up? So many what ifs are popping up now, so I’ll end the chain of thought here.
Work constantly keeps me off balance. Cover this route, cover that route, anxieties that are off the scale, and me trying to cope without wanting to slit my throat. I can’t get comfortable for longer than a week. I’m so sick of it. For the next two weeks it will be hell, and I will have very little home time. The only reasons to go home is to eat, shower, and get what little sleep I can.
All right, enough negativity. My coat from Blair.com came and I love it. It fits, has a water resistant shell, lots of pockets, and a removable hood. Just what I needed for the 30 degree weather this morning. My dragon figurine came and it lights up. Also ordered fox ears for Halloween. Next on the wish list is a new 50 inch TV and a TV stand. Unfortunately, my truck needs new shocks and struts, which is not surprising since she’s slowly approaching the 150,000 mark. Oh yeah, one more payment, and she’s all mine! Then I get to tell that finance company to muck off.
The girlfriend sent a few pics for Halloween, so that made me happy. Two weeks of rain came to an end today, which made me even happier. But that was replaced with anger when I had to scrape ice off the windows and dealing with climate control problems. Now, as I sit here typing, the annoying upstairs neighbour is making all this noise. I complained about her before, and management sent her a letter stating that if they receive any more complaints, they will ask her to vacate the premises. They will not act as referees.
Okay, that’s all I have for now. I just want to enjoy the remains of the weekend before I have to run this sickening route come Monday. Thanks for reading my post.
Remember to Be Your Greatest Version
The Introvert Soap Box 